Often, when left alone. I slowly drift into thoughts about the world not needing me for anything, that I can sit here in this computer chair with all my skills and work ethic and still be unwanted and undesired in almost every way. In a job search lasting nearly 3 years, not one true provocative opportunity for sustained employment has shown itself.
I’ve read that 70 percent of your life is spent at work. Does this mean that 70 percent of my life is unneeded and unwanted by the rest of society? I see friends and relatives having much more luck than me. Everyone tells me I’m doing all the right things. I have a lot of people telling me “Its a hard market out there.” Yeah its hard, and its easy to say its hard when you are sitting behind your own job.
The only thing I can do is continue trying. I cant give up, but I need something to make me feel like its not hopeless. Its hard when everyone around ether has a job or is just starting out at one. When I cant even seem to get an interview. Everyone is eager to help me apply, but no one is eager to hire me. It must be something about me? is it my free spirit? My looks? The way I dress? It should be something, no one declines someone for no reason.
A good friend of mine reminded me of a principle I had forgotten about for a good year or so. If you don’t like something, change it. So that’s what I’am going to do. At least my approach. I’m going to be damn near relentless.